DAY 1

I dreamt about my little girl last night. In my dream she was walking and hugging me. She couldn't do that when she died, so maybe in my heart she is growing. In my dreams, she is still alive. We still haven't read the sympathy cards or sent "thank you" cards to people who sent us gifts and flowers. It hurts to wake up in the morning. At the time Lila died, I was already 3 months pregnant with our baby boy. He is the only reason I get out of bed some days.

I was thinking about her first birthday and how much my husband cried. We (The Northland SIDS Foundation) hosted a pizza party dinner fundraiser to donate money towards SIDS research and awareness. We raised several hundred dollars. My husband and I picked up flowers to put next to her curio cabinet. We also went to Security Jewelers and bought her a Swarovski Crystal Figurine (picture).

My husband and I went to church and lit a candle for her. Later that night, we bought a birthday cake and a "1" candle and let the flame go out by itself. 

Our baby girl still means the world to us.

We miss her.